one for blogging

Talk about empowering bloggers! Great stuff!

It's a Joke!

It's amazing how text messages can just brighten one's day. Got this when I woke up this morning and it did jump start my day.

Priests DO tell the truth!!!

Girly: "Father, I confess, every time I look at other women during mass, I always realize that I am the prettiest girl in church! Is that a sin, Father?

Priest: "No, my child, it isn't a sin. It's a joke!"

step aside superman

Superman's misplaced red underwear is no match for Japan's latest space age invention.

J-ware is the name and keeping space men clean is the game. J-ware is a line of odor-free underwear and casual clothing, which was conceptualized, researched and created by at Japan Women's University by Japanese textile experts. J-ware is said to last for more than a week. They are designed to kill bacteria, absorb water, insulate the body and dry quickly.

This is a good invention that will help the human race exist longer by saving tons of water if used on earth. Hmmm.... Does anyone want to use this for swimming?

breathe fresh air

Findings by a new study conducted by the US National Institute of Environmental Health Sciences (NIEHS) strongly links air quality and life expectancy. Census data for 51 metropolitan areas between 1978 and 2001 where used by the researchers, and what they found was a direct correlation between improving air quality and extending life expectancy. 2.72 years longer lifespans were enjoyed and at least 15 percent of that increased life expectancy was found in areas with decreased air pollution.

This is a call to everyone. Let us do our share in making our neighbors and our families live longer!

Just for Laughs

I checked my inbox today and finally got the time to click on an email with "Just for Laughs" as the subject. I got this about two days ago and decided not to open it thinking it was just one of those redundant forwarded messages that contained funny pictures about the toilets of the world or pictures of how Philippine police cars (tin cans) compare with the world's best. Well I opened it. It was indeed a forwarded message but his had no funny pics. Only conversations... hilarious interactions between lawyers and witness.

The first line read: These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place.

brace yourselves...

ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
____________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie there.
____________________________________________

ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS : Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget.
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
___________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo?
WITNESS: We both do.
ATTORNEY: Voodoo?
WITNESS: We do.
ATTORNEY: You do?
WITNESS: Yes, voodoo.
____________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
____________________________________

ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: He's twenty, much like your IQ.
___________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Are you shitting me?
_________________________________________

ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: getting laid?
____________________________________________

ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?
____________________________________________

ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Take a guess.
____________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard.
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I'm going with male.
_____________________________________

ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
______________________________________

ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many 20 of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight.
_________________________________________

ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
WITNESS: Oral.
_________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished.
____________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question?
______________________________________

And the best for last:

ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
ITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.

______________________________________

So, can you give me an example of something you forgot?

Getting to Know "ME"

This post isn't about me.

I joined a recollection along with a youth organization in our community yesterday. It was my very first recollection since I attended non-sectarian schools for my secondary and tertiary education. We arrived very late and only had the chance to perform one activity. This was about knowing one's self.

It was a nice experience. There were guide questions that really made me reflect about myself. There questions about how well I know my strengths, my weaknesses, the things that influenced my personal growth, my fears and the lessons I've learned from my past.

Not all of us will the chance to go through the session we had. For those who seek to understand themselves better, ponder on these questions...

These set of questions will help validate one's identity.

1. Describe your best features and characteristics.
2. Whoare the type of people you most admire and why?
3. If you could be anyone, who could it be and why?
4. What makes you sad?
5. What are your fears? How have you fears influenced any decisions in your life?
6. What are the three characteristics that may be holding you back from being more successful in your life?
7.Take a look one year down the road. What kind of person do you see yourself being? Imagine that you see yourself walking down a hallway. Describe yourself - not just in physical terms, but in terms of the features and talents that are beginning to shine.

After activity, I felt very light and I know that I was more aware about me than I was before the session started. I hope I get to reach out to you guys and help you in knowing yourselves.