Monday, March 30, 2009
Priests DO tell the truth!!!
Girly: "Father, I confess, every time I look at other women during mass, I always realize that I am the prettiest girl in church! Is that a sin, Father?
Priest: "No, my child, it isn't a sin. It's a joke!"
Friday, March 27, 2009
J-ware is the name and keeping space men clean is the game. J-ware is a line of odor-free underwear and casual clothing, which was conceptualized, researched and created by at Japan Women's University by Japanese textile experts. J-ware is said to last for more than a week. They are designed to kill bacteria, absorb water, insulate the body and dry quickly.
This is a good invention that will help the human race exist longer by saving tons of water if used on earth. Hmmm.... Does anyone want to use this for swimming?
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
This is a call to everyone. Let us do our share in making our neighbors and our families live longer!
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
The first line read: These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place.
ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie there.
ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS : Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget.
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
ATTORNEY: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo?
WITNESS: We both do.
WITNESS: We do.
ATTORNEY: You do?
WITNESS: Yes, voodoo.
ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: He's twenty, much like your IQ.
ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Are you shitting me?
ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: getting laid?
ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?
ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Take a guess.
ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard.
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I'm going with male.
ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many 20 of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight.
ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished.
ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question?
And the best for last:
ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
ITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.
So, can you give me an example of something you forgot?
Monday, March 23, 2009
I joined a recollection along with a youth organization in our community yesterday. It was my very first recollection since I attended non-sectarian schools for my secondary and tertiary education. We arrived very late and only had the chance to perform one activity. This was about knowing one's self.
It was a nice experience. There were guide questions that really made me reflect about myself. There questions about how well I know my strengths, my weaknesses, the things that influenced my personal growth, my fears and the lessons I've learned from my past.
Not all of us will the chance to go through the session we had. For those who seek to understand themselves better, ponder on these questions...
These set of questions will help validate one's identity.
1. Describe your best features and characteristics.
2. Whoare the type of people you most admire and why?
3. If you could be anyone, who could it be and why?
4. What makes you sad?
5. What are your fears? How have you fears influenced any decisions in your life?
6. What are the three characteristics that may be holding you back from being more successful in your life?
7.Take a look one year down the road. What kind of person do you see yourself being? Imagine that you see yourself walking down a hallway. Describe yourself - not just in physical terms, but in terms of the features and talents that are beginning to shine.
After activity, I felt very light and I know that I was more aware about me than I was before the session started. I hope I get to reach out to you guys and help you in knowing yourselves.